the guy isnt me anymore..

see them getting better each day.. i should be happy for her ba.. at least she found somebody to walk her path with le.. what ever she does.. i m out of the picture le.. she doesn't need me anymore.. guess so.. soon she will get more used to her new "wallet".. hope i get numb soon also.. that will be better for me.. time really can tone down her feelings for me like i thot it will.. its like be it i m ard.. or i m not ard.. doesnt matter to her le.. haaa? i lost my faith, my strength.. wj i m not that strong after all.. cant be the reject 1000times wont get sian de kelvin anymore.. or maybe 1000times are already up..

memories ended for us..?

where is it?

wj~ u say wan write a story lai gei wo listen.. where? post in this post de comments la? ok?
4.30pm:
today rain whole afternoon.. stay at home edit my blog layouts... nice? hahax..
rain stop lo.. time to get my feets up and moving..

我经已变了 但也来不及了

watched mtvs, clips on youtube and chatted with her awhile in the morning den she went offline.. saw jie lun's vids, 珊瑚海.. feel that the scenes are like us again.. the pics, the necklace.. den i saw 退后.. and last part i saw the words: 我已经变了 但也来不及了
last nite i told her that i hv changed.. but she said its too late... maybe ba..?
i cant say i m confused.. bcos my heart clearly knows what i wanted.. i just.. dono what i shd do..

anyway...

GREAT SINGAPORE SALE now on!
i will be going out with wj and james to go on a shopping spree later~ haha.. but no "$" hehee..
don care ba.. window shopping also very fun haha..
what are you people waiting for? don stay at home and rot liao la..

a story about a girl.. losing her wallet..

there was this story i heard..
a little ger one day lost her wallet which she liked very much.. soon she went around telling ppl.. asking ppl if anyone has seen her wallet.. not long after she lost her wallet she went to buy a new wallet.. the new wallet looked very nice.. at least there is no holes.. no broken edges like her old one.. only that it had a leather smell.. and that it was still hard(not seasoned)..

one day, she woke up... felt something under her pillow which caused her bad slp.. she pulled away her pillow and saw her old wallet.. she den realise that she din lose the wallet.. it was with her every night.. it sleeps with her.. and wakes with her everyday.. but she din tell anyone abt it.. cos she felt embarrassed if ppl were to knw her blunder.. so she kept the wallet under the pillow like it had been the past few days.. almost every night she will take out the wallet and take a look at it.. feel the smooth texture of it (due to wear and tear), and look at the things she kept inside it.. she very much wanted to use back her old wallet.. but she was afraid that her frens in sch will question her.. and she din knw wat to answer.. also.. she wont knw wat she can do.. or where she can put the new wallet.. so she jus continued using the new wallet..

one day after sch.. she happily ran back home.. had a bath and lied down on her bed to rest... she reached out to take the old wallet out under her pillow.. but she couldnt feel it.. den she started ransacking her bed..flipping her pillows and mattress.. but she jus couldnt find it.. she became worried.. and started thinking where could she have left it.. but she was clueless.. she den saw a note on her desk.. "daughter, i had made lunch for u in the kitchen.. and i threw away ur old wallet i found today while tidying ur room... bcos u have a new 1 already right?"

the story ends here.. cos i haven hear the rest of the story yet.. somehow i wanted to knw wat will the little ger do.. will she jus carry on using the new wallet or will she find back the old 1 and use it.. and be proud to tell everyone her story..?

i kept my love in a box with her... will she open it?

i made myself finish the present i wanted to give her.. i din know y i wanted to give her so fast.. cos the earlier i give means the earlier i had to make myself go.. anyway.. i got it done.. and i called her and knw that she is alone slping at home.. so i decided to deliver it to her..

i forgot to take pics of the completed gift.. haiz.. sad.. but at least i will nv forget wats inside.. and how it looked like.. all my efforts and love.. my sorrows and pain was put inside.. i called her when i reached her hse door.. she din wan to open the door.. she tot i was joking.. and i appeared downstairs when i asked her to look down her room.. finally she opened the door.. saw her in her specs.. and home clothes.. feel so like the times when we were at hm... when she stayed over.. so i passed her the box.. and she went back in to get changed for dinner..

i had my last dinner with her at country mana.. nice food.. very nice.. and she knew wat i was going to say.. she knw wat i was going to do... haiz.. we enjoyed our dinner very much.. den we had a walk.. and sat down and chat awhile.. but bcos there is another couple sitting beside us(i think that is the reason), so i walked her back home using a longer route.. to avoid being spotted by her sis.. we hugged for the last time.. kissed for the last time.. everything is jus coming to an end.. i asked her if she would give me a chance..(open the box if u r willing to give me just this one chance).. she din knw how much this one chance means to me.. i bet she din knw... i guess she would jus think that she can jus look and treat that she din open.. soon we had to bid goodbye.. we din wanted to part? but we somehow had to.. she wanted me to leave too.. that is the worst part.. i can only blame myself for chasing her off 53days ago.. causing her to have no choice but to see me leave.. we cried for the last time... everything was the last time.. haa.. ironic? jus hope that she will give me a chance..

change topic..

i was supposed to meet jason and gang at 12+.. but there was no more trains to orchard anymore.. only 1130 loh.. so i had to take night rider.. i dono where is it.. called her to ask... she also dono.. end up i saw a cab.. jus took it.. and rested thru the ride.. 18bucks.. yucks.. so ex loh.. so i reached there on time at least.. and saw yg and dom sitting there.. so i joined them chit chat.. join in their topic on dota and uni.. soon sam and yw came.. sam in formal shirt.. shuai.. haha... den jason and mel came after that... only jl pang seh us.. den abt mel hor.. she changed alot.. hair changed.. giving a total different feeling.. like more mature ba? more stylish also.. lolx.. den we went in to the screens at 1245..

nice movie indeed.. nv wasted my time n money.. worth watching 2nd time.. hahaaa.. somemore 3 hrs.. wu hua~.. haha.. the ending part.. after the credits which u have to wait 10mins++ will see wat happens after ten yrs.. jus a short part.. but.. at least got 1 ending for that show ba.. jus that i dono y his kid 10yrs old look like 6 yrs old.. haha.. hmmm.. don say too much... wait ppl haven see de read liao will scold me..

so after the movies i took sam's car back hm.. on the way, see them so happily together.. really envy them.. wonder when can i find someone who will be by my side.. no matter wat happens.. haha.. jus daydreaming again ba... so.. i reached hm at ard 445 ba.. so i try to look for her see she slp anot.. but slp liao.. cos earlier she surf youtube till 4 like that ma.. hmm haiz.. can someone jus stop me from even sms-ing her.. haiz.. i will try ba..

GOOD MORNING ALL.. i go slp le.. (shd i haha or haiz?)
hahaiz.....

thinking.... thinking.....

darwin called me! wat a suprise.. lolx.. finally meeting them once again after such a long time le.. dono will see her anot.. hmm not important ba.. hope it would turn out fun can le..

TRIP CANCELLED.. haiz.. low morale.. sadded.. seriously.. nvm.. go lim kopi ba!!

dono y whole day she nv reply me.. nv answer my call.. getting worried... wat could have happened to her?.. all my fault.. haiz..

0310am: finally she called back.. knw that she reached home.. den can finally 放心 le.. going slp le lo.. morning got ppl morning call me le.. yeah haaa.. =x
tired also le.. yawnz... nitex all...

wan a piece of me?

went to watch NEXT movie today with wj n ckh at cine.. after that went to marina to meet rainy for dinner.. ate at food court and went to try out the cheeeesee cakes at appetizers? cos 50% off on tuesdays ma..

delicious!

wenjie using his super fast hand to eat the cake..

rainy also tried to learn wenjie's fast hands skill..

while jian xing happily munch on his choco cake..

jusco

went to jb today.. haha.. never shop much.. jus walk ard and eat eat eat.. but bought something that i liked alot.. heeex.. not a wasted trip..

bought a sponge bob toy for her too.. guess she will like it like i liked my spidermans.. lolx

fun fair

went to woodlands(cozway pt) pasam malam and fun fair with her today...

pics taken at mos burger:

me (front view)..

me (back view)..

her..

still her...

us.. smiling...

us trying to act cute.. haha..

how can 1 person get drunk?

tried to get drunk.. but haven drunk already drink till full.. hahaz.. had a nice day today.. almost whole day with bryan they all lol.. den evening time went to spec mess to drink for free.. haha.. den see they all k songs.. nice.. feels like partying ba.. although is forced to go..

reach hm and went westmall wanted to buy something.. but close shop at 9.. so cant get it.. sad..

called her.. she bz playing game.. chat awhile den she ask me play the game she playing.. den we 2 bz playing.. end up nv talk so ended the call.. the game quite hard to play.. i stucked at stg 7 only loh.. i think she abt to complete liao ba? hmm... u all can try ba..
the link is:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y143/cute-spot/cute-spot/SWF/games/studentpark.swf

so i give up.. den see she will complete anot lo.. hope to hear from her soon.. expecting her call ba? lol.. DREAMING.. aiya.. i go pack my bag for tml le..

maybe thurs or fri can go fun fair with her ba.. can eat many nice food there.. cos we too "tan chi" le.. den maybe can play inside also ba.. dono.. see she got the mood or time to go anot lo..

people.. remember to shoutout more~

haha...

finding her always has been so hard..

haha..

its not ur fault..

saw her blog.. she missed her mum too much.. its not her fault.. its just heaven being unfair to her.. saw her shouts.. donwan to see her like this.. really hope i can be the one by her side to accompany her, lend her my shoulders to cry on.. hope she gets over it soon..

god.. can u help me tell her?

i will be the someone who truly understand you, your feeling, your attitude, your behaviour, your everything.. love you for who you are, care for you even regardless of anything..

CAN YOU HEAR THAT??

haiz.. can u even feel that?

mother's day

i knw today she confirm will feel super sad.. every year this day.. i really wished i can do everything to her to make her feel better.. but all she wanted was me to keep quiet..

i really hope i can hear from her soon.. all i could do now is do nth.. perhaps standby my phone for her to call me anytime... i really donwan to see her sad... happy mothers' day.. her mum also wont wan to see her sad like this every year.. hope she can be strong and cheer up.. so that if her mum happens to drop by.. she can see her leading her life happily..

a simple movie can be hell lot of fun

11may: this is what i call a day to remember la~

nv felt so happy for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time le...

love is bitter sweet ba..?

at least its VERY sweet today.. =D

spiderman3, here i come!

i will be sitting there tml! she will be sitting there tml too!~

how to slp sia... hahaax..

end of story..

我陪你做了这个决定，如果有一天，你真的后悔了，你也不必怪谁。。。

a story about a horse and the grass..

there was once there was this horse in a land of grass.. she loved eating a patch of grass under the star fruit tree.. but one day.. she decided to move on to look for other patches of grass.. leaving the poor grass under the star fruit tree all alone.. as she try the new grass she feels that something is not right.. the grass jus tasted different.. although it may seem fresher as they are not under the shades of the star fruit tree, but it jus didnt tasted so right..

on the other hand, the grass back at under the star fruit tree, stood down there.. didnt move at all.. feeling all sad and lonely.. the only wish he had was that the horse can come back.. or even jus pass by him so that he could see her.. he didnt mind how long he was going to wait.. or how much rain and shine he must go thru without her.. all he wanted was to have her back under the shade of the star fruit tree again, even if it was only for a short afternoon nap..

好马不吃回头草，好草只等回头马
its a common saying that a good horse will not eat the good grass it had left behind.. but a horse that turns back.. does it mean its bad? people may see it as so called "bad" is it becos it left the good grass alone there? no! to the grass it is a no.. he doesnt really matter.. he doesnt really matter to the good grass how ppl say or see the horse at all... all he wanted was to wait for the horse to come back.. he didnt feel that it is the horse fault at all.. it only feel that he is not good enough to make the horse stay.. that is the hidden line after that common saying...

so.. the grass is still waiting.. and....... the horse.. will she come back?

1 week passed again.. monday again soon...

so fast.. weekends are alwys so fast.. today.. also dono go where.. should be going shopping with my gang ba... hmm they all watch spiderman le.. dono when den my turn to watch.. hai.. haha wj say i must watch la.. not becos its v nice.. but becos of the story.. hmm.. but i guess i wont be meeting her this few days ba.. cos shd be her 1 month aniversary also ba... wait lo.. the most is buy dvd or dl? youtube? =.="

next week hell week le.. so sianz.. will be quite busy also ba.. hmm plan to go swimming again on wed haha.. den maybe go gaming at cine.. cos saw the offer yday:
12pm-6pm ($6) unlimited / 2am-6am ($8) unlimited
i think afternoon 1 is for weekday midnight 1 is for weekend ba.. dono.. jus go there waste time

last nite went out with wj ckh and their polymates.. eat at pizza hut @ centrepoint.. still can remember last time my 1st outing with my yr2 class also at there haha.. den walk ard at town after 9+ den see cine still alot ppl sial~ so went in chou chou re nao.. lolx.. den wj came my house lan.. talk talk also.. now he haven wake loh.. power...

the season of heartaches

this is the season of break-ups, heartaches, the most painful moments i guess.. me + 4 more close frens... all suffer the same fate.. haa.. all at this time.. (3 of them r DC personnel)... lolx.. very confused le.. dono she likes him more or me.. blah blah blah.. ["(x_x)"]

nothing much to say also.. 心情不好，话就少。

stay at home today... think think think... thinking of u all the time...

what can i do? what shd i do? teach me please...

04 MAY 07

today is supposed to be our 3 years 11 months.. but unfortunately its our.. 1 month of break up...

wonder how she is doing... only know that her work very tiring.. guess she is slping now ba.. dono if she still remember what date is today anot.. wanted to call her.. but she nv pick up.. haiz.. well.. still feeling very uneasy.. tml and the rest of this weekend she will be spending together with him ba.. >..<

just wanted to say: HAPPY 3 Years 11 Months.. or 1 Month.. good nites..

bye bye penguin

today mainly is to return her qi er(penguin) umbrella thats y we can meet.. i dropped a msg inside it.. hoping when she open she can see it.. and think of out past memories.. very coincident, the things i wrote inside.. is abt the times we spent last time at amk when my hse is there.. i hope i can let her find back some feelings for me also ba..

ppl.. stop reading this part.. only meant for her.. wait u kp me rou ma...

i really really love u.. i really don mind wat u do.. don mind wat u become of.. if can.. i really wish i can hug u in my arms and say i love u again.. really wish to see u smile everytime we meet.. really wan to eat the food u cook once more.. really wan to bring u to all the places and do everything all over again.. i don mind how hard.. i don mind how long u wan me to wait.. i do mind you feeling down.. i do mind u feeling sad.. becos in my heart i only got u..

1225am: she replied me.. yeah! happy like fk.. dono y.. i jus feel that i have that lian ai de "feeling" again.. feel very happy when she cares.. feel extremely down if she doesnt.. so i called her.. den said good nitez..well.. things arent that bad?

i go slp le ba.. tml steven still ask me to take over duty early loh.. aiyoyo.. 晚安!

a simple day spent in ang mo kio hub

645pm: reached home.. prepared and went out to meet rainy..
740pm: she boarded my train at semb and headed to amk hub..

reached there.. bought vege crisps.. she seemed to like that alot.. or maybe jus felt like eating it ba.. den bought goreng pisang, cheese(strange taste.. not recommended), sweet potato(not sweet) to share share eat... den we buy a healthy fruits drink.. taste like.. watermelon with a bit of skin dropped inside the blending machine? lolx.. da zhi ran de wei dao(taste of nature)~

we walk walk ard there as we ate.. went in to see some accessories at the same time see if there is anything to buy for apple for her bday on 15may anot.. after that also went in to levis.. den she tried jeans that she say she wanted to buy for me see.. but i see 1st 1.. 2nd 1 i tot she changing to come out.. so i walked further away.. ended she cant call for me.. so i nv saw.. omg.. i sux lolx..

den we walked ard again.. den i say wan to grab a bite again haha.. so went out of amk hub... ventured ard amk area.. to the kopitiams ard.. cannot find prata that she wanted to eat.. so end up going to mac cafe.. she ordered last time we at jp mac try de double choc, me =>caramel.. both tasteless.. =.=" den fries also nua nua.. i rate that mac 1/10 la.. over the table we chatted.. heard abt her recent life.. heard abt the guys ard him.. sian ba.. as in.. hai.. cannot care much abt her also le ba.. its just like.. there is a wall restricting me from concerning abt her.. so i can only listen.. as long as she is happy with her life can le ba.. i guess..

den we took train back lo.. she show me mosquito bites all ard her body.. den also saw bruises.. and a cut in her arm.. i asked her how she got it.. she said from doing paper work or art work.. but now come to think of it.. how can 1 person get cut at there? hmm felt pain for her loh.. see her like that.. like nv take care of herself.. haiz but again.. like i said there is nth i can do now... so send her back le.. in train many ppl.. den train keep shaking.. but, i can no longer hold her le.. the most is when she wan to fall.. i stretch my hand for her to grab on ba..

reached home.. den i sms her.. cos usually i reach home she jus got settled down.. but like the past few days.. she nv replied again.. and will not reply even when she sees my msg.. well.. maybe i shd really take a big step backwards ba.. i m confused.. does she still? or am i the one who is one sided?

tomorrow will be better~

today morning GOH very busy.. den afternoon tot got games day can play bball.. end up kena cheated.. they play soccer.. sian 100% so i slpt at mess..

reach home cant find rainy.. MIA again.. make me miss her alot.. den went to cut hair till short short.. now time to slp le loh.. tml we meeting so i hope that tml can see her.. ^^

明天会跟好..

Leong's story

i browse my com and i found a ss of leong's msn nick.. here its goes:

One day, bee stay on top tree looking at the sky, slowly sky turns dark and she saw xing, slowly they love each other. God bless them

Good nite everyone!

boring~

wat a boring day... hai..